Insomnia & Other Sleep-Related Issues

Time check: 3:35 am

Are you a fellow nocturnal? Brace yourself for stories and rants that this post beholds.

I’m a person with bad sleeping habits. Not those things like teeth gritting or excessively drooling, okay. I’ll call it sleeping issues. When I was in 5th grade, I sleepwalked. To clear it up, sleepwalking is not the zombie-like stereotype with your arms raised and slow walking thingy. As I’ve been told by my mom, I had my eyes opened and I just walked. The panic came when I reached the stairs. You know what happens next~ I also caught myself in the act. Well, sorta. I woke up in front of the opened dresser and I have a white shirt on my hand. Weird, huh?

Another sleeping issue that I had was having terrible nightmares. It went on for many nights. It was scary as hell but there are perks. Believe it or not, I learned how to (somehow) control my bad dreams since then. I can frequently tell my subconscious that I’m only dreaming and make the situation upside down. Really fun. :D Btw, of course, my parents got me medicated about those because duh! It ain’t normal. I can’t remember how. My mom said they rushed me to a hospital one night when I was getting delirious with a spoon stuck in my mouth to prevent me from biting my tongue. Okay, weirder.

Junior Year came. I think I developed this from staying up all night in front of the PC every night. 5 years later, I still have insomnia. It just makes me wait ’til the sun goes up and go to school which affects my physical and mental ability. I had this checked-up. My doctor said stress/overthinking is one of the reasons. Also, sleeping-really-late-habit. They gave me barbiturates. Sleeping pills work well when I don’t have school because it gives me 10-12 hours sleep. I also don’t like consuming it because it’s just not natural. I don’t wan’na be drug dependent.

It’s very frustrating. Trying to sleep? Something that is effortless to most people, it ticks me off. I try suggestions to help me sleep like read a book, listen to a calming music, drink milk etc. which works but not always. Like right now, I’m writing this, aren’t I? And I’m still wide awake!

I admit. I’m stressed. I feel like a CEO of a company who has millions of problems but I’m only 18 for crying out loud. When I lie down my bed, thoughts keep on rushing in. My mental snowball is getting bigger every second. I can’t stay still. Thoughts like, “What to do later?” advances to “What are my plans for the future?”. Like, really? I also can’t leave out useless worries. They keep on haunting me. Messed-up schedules, school works, budgeting, needs, wants and the list goes on which in fact, I’m better off not thinking about them because it will work out fine.

I don’t hate the whole deal. I like the quiet. Gives me time to reflect, alone time. Do you experience being stressed out too? I found a book that helps me get by little by little which I’m going to share the PDF file to y’all soon. It tells me to live my life the way I lived it in the past, living in the moment. :D So yeah, I’m going to pig out now. Ugh. I still have classes later. 

Anyway, I hope you guys have a great sleep. I hope the sleep fairy spreads her magic dust to me. What am I saying? Lol.

Off to dreamland, MAZE

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